Onioka Skincrawler's Magic Evil Fortress Tours

Dwarves, a Dwarf, and the Dwarves
13 Dead End Drive

Upon arrival to the grand gates of Veldagrim, Hraxos raps on the wooden doors and mumbles something about being a safe traveler and asks his fellows about why they’ve arrived. Thankfully, Kaia knows Trayvok the doorman and he lets us in. We get a hotel for the night and head to the City Hall to seek out one of the great heroes.

The great hero Kulet Regunib gives us a tour of the city, upon which we come across Normal Eddie on his way to see Kron, the captain of the guard. Kulet, the founder of Veldagrim, tells us about a smoke-machine that will blot out the sun in this area in an effort to, I don’t know, make it darker for dwarves who, I guess, don’t like the sunlight, or something.

Upon returning to Kulet’s office, we press him about the colossus and the super-powerful necklaces he and all the great heroes have. He refused to tell us anything about the necklaces just before Sashay screams from the other room. Kron lay dead, an ornate knife in his back. Kulet charges us with an investigation, as the guard’s morale would be devastated upon news of their leader’s death.

We question Sashay on her involvement and leads. She seems a real dame, and real upset. She’s innocent.

We visit Normal Eddie, the last person to walk into Kron’s office. After a few dick punches, we found out he’s a vampire. But he didn’t kill Kron, as he was feeding off of him parasitically instead.

We visit the salesman of the murder weapon, but his only information was that a cloaked dwarf purchased the blade, and that it was a mediocre blade at best – not a combat-ready weapon by any means.

We troll the alleys in the poorer districts, trying to attract the attention of Grimmson’s gang. Guutzman’s riveting performance of an anarchist gets some attention of poorer dwarves, and they mistake our questions as inspiration as they rally around us against the oppressive government and ransack a hot dog stand.

At this point, Kaia informs us of a local tavern where Grimmson and his gang hang out. Why didn’t we just go there earlier? No idea! Guutzman buys some patrons some drinks:

Good evening, DWARVES. Mind if I buy you guys a round?

They think he’s pretty neat and ask him to join Grimmson’s gang, the Silver Sons. We all immediately jump on the concept of joining the Silver Suns, and promptly follow the one dwarf that offered to the dark alley that marks Grimmson’s crime den. The rooms reek of injustice. The shadows play home to Grimmson and his nefarious schemes. No doubt the evil mob boss would have us do unspeakable things in order to gain entry to his cult.

Turns out Grimmson is a nonviolent political activist. Despite our most covert suggestions —

“Are you ready to get out there and spread the truth of the law through the education of the people??”

“Yeah! I’ll totally stab any captain of the guard just to bring down the government!”

— he refuses to allow us to resort to such brute methods. Guutzman then quite untactfully blows the whole ruse by telling Grimmson that Kron is dead and Eddie is a vampire. We come clean and inform him of the investigation.

We return to Kulet and tell him all that we’ve done and all that we haven’t found. He thanks us for our unsuccessful work and tell us of a situation in a mine shaft that they’ve had to close off. Dejected by our inability to find the killer, we slunk off to the mine in hopes of ultimately gaining Kulet’s favor and aid against the colossus.

The Showdown with Normal Eddie
The Secrets We Keep

Guutzman: You sent us into the den of a Dracula without giving us any warning that we were going toe-to-toe with a fucking Dracula??

Kaia: Yeah, well, what happened?

G: We punched him in the dick. A lot.

K: And then?

G: He pooped his pants.

Between a talking rock and a talking hard place
I'm sure this creepy circus is full of good guys

You explore the house, fight zombies, lots of stuff happens, yadda yadda yadda you kill a weird beholder dragon creature.

A mysterious figure approaches the clearing after your great battle. He reeks of chemicals and looks like the sort of guy who charmed his way into and out of a few too many bad situations.

He looks over the damage, expressing sadness that you had to kill the beast, but he is understanding of the necessity. He reveals to the group that this was intended to be a sort of advertisement for his circus, and the loud noises were supposed to be more controlled, bringing in customers from miles around. If, of course, went rogue, creating the horrid noises that were plaguing the town for so long.

The man mentions that he has a fairly successful chimera-creating program, and promises to show the party some samples and possibly sell them some sort of super mounts. The natural greed that comes with a promise of super-mounts overpowers the party, and the follow him to the circus.

The place is not in full operation yet, but getting there. The party observes the attractions: Plays some games, views some crazy wild beasts, and met with some local flavor, including an incredibly powerful and rich wizard who spends his entire time tending to the local beasts and not really ever using his powers or vast wealth, and the guards, mostly consisting of Orcs who have had their tongues ripped out as a result of the growing human-orc tension after the fall of Xenix. Many Orcs were driven from their homes in the land by angry humans looking for revenge for the dark lord’s reign, and these are just some examples of the atrocities of that period. Idonno’s telepathic abilities intrigues these Orcs, as it allows them to carry on a conversation with a sapient being ,something they have been unable to do for years.

Most curious, however, is the presence of a train of several carts, each with a tarp over them. Strange noises can be heard coming from behind the tarps, though the ringmaster insists that it is just the result of the chimera program, nothing more.

HOWEVER, upon resting, the party is awakened by an uproar. The circus is scrambling, a few tents are on fire, there is screaming everywhere. Most interestingly, one of the tarps has been removed, and the cage that was under it is broken open. Something is loose, and the ringmaster conscripts the party to help search for it.

The party discovers something hiding behind some boxes in one of the tents. Circling it, they prepare to catch it, but are caught off guard when they realize it is nothing more than a female human cleric. Kaia, as she is called, tells the party of the circus’ evil chimera program, which is taking humans from the villages it visits and turning them into horrible beasts. They also took one of Kaia’s books of magic and rituals, which she believes can rapidly expand their enterprise. The book must be returned, and the program must be stopped. Kaia mentions that she has come from the dwarven city of Veldagrim, and knows the way back there, making her a most useful person for the party indeed.

A plan is formed, and the party splits up. Guutsman is in charge of finding transportation, and must deal with the rich and powerful wizard to do so. He manages to grab one of the more horse-like creatures, a massive toad-lizard-whatever beast, by promising the wizard that there is a shiny Mew in the tall grass nearby. He also manages to get a cart from a local Chaos Orc, after a friendly discussion on the nature of chaos and the gift of a talking rock, the ultimate representation of chaotic energy.

Idonno distracts the guards with their newfound relationship and communication abilities while Vickas climbs the side of the building. Vickas kicks so much ass at climbing, that he leaps over the roof straight into a chimney and falls straight down without even thinking twice about it. Once inside, he sneaks through the lab, freeing the human captors despite his better instincts, and destroys the machine making the chimeras, getting Kaia’s book in the process.

Hraxos, who had, like, this headache thing? And has been feeling REALLY out of it recently man, stays and watches Kaia.

Vickas and Idonno escape from the lab thanks in part to the timely arrival of Guutsman, and the trio picks up Kaia and Hraxos soon after, breaking free of the circus and smashing a few more of their cages for good measure.

OH SHIT THOUGH: Some orcs have given chase in their own carts, and along with their dogs prove to be a little faster than the party. A strange, otherworldly boldness inhabits Kaia, and she joins the party in the fight. Instead of using their wits and skill like they were supposed to, the party brute forces the other carts back, and escapes to fight again!

The party rides their toad-lizard-whatever beast towards the dwarven city….who knows what adventures await them there?

It's Not Our Fault
But really, it wasn't us.


There is a talking bear. It attacks us after verbally pondering the tragic philosophies of the world. A sexy mysterious tiefling finishes pooping in the bushes and joins the fray. After defeating the talking bear, Guutzman beheads the carcass, magically spilling gold coins. So we split them, getting 250 gp each. We also loot the deer bodies, taking their heads as trophies. Guutzman affixes the heads to his shoulders.

We make our way to the town of Lum, which takes us about 45 minutes. The city is panicked due to the colossus just smashing through the edge of town. We make a beeline to Luke’s.

“Adventurers! We don’t want any trouble in here!” states Luke the bartender. Guutzman transforms the dear heads on his shoulders into silvered weapons and attempts to intimidate Luke into letting us drink with our weapons in peace. Shaken but not stirred, Luke allows us to sit and order a round of drinks. Idunno orders a round of drinks for the bar – and distributes a drink to Gob, the half-orc assistant to Onioka. He triggers a conversation that sends Luke into a panic: “Wait, YOU caused this? You caused all of this?” He activates a silent alarm and summons the guards. The guards, having cold feet after seeing the intimidating adventurers, hear out Hraxos’ account of the day’s events and how it was DEFINITELY not their fault. The guards deliberate on the city’s laws and decide to send the questionable travelers into Onioka’s home. The house is no doubt littered with magical defenses, but it may be the only way to find a solution to the colossus problem.


Welcome to the Tour
I Blame Caolin

The three of us stand before Onioka Skincrawler, high necromancer and one of the great heroes of Greyfarow. After introducing ourselves, she leads us up to the front of her mighty fortress/gauntlet.

The dark fortress is built up to the sky – dark, spikey parapets tower above us. As Hraxos goes to open the great gates, the door talks back! “Welcome, adventurers! Solve my riddle and enter my halls!” or something. After a few guesses and being creeped out by Idunno’s crystal form, we guess, “the future!” which is close enough to “tomorrow” that it lets us in. The hallway before us goes on for some distance. Torches of varying age light the red carpet that beckons us into the citadel.

Hraxos boldly takes one step into the corridor only to be dashed by a giant swinging blade, tossing him to the far wall. The adventurers make their way down the hallway, smashing through the booby-trapped candelabras. “Dracula Shit Goddamned Wall!” cries Guutzman as he brutally misses beating the wall with his axe and missing…somehow. After bashing a blade to death, disarming and scurrying past a trap, and resisting a swoon in the face of an attempted pick-up, the group survives the gauntlet and enters the far chamber (Actually, Guutzman daydreams about Blade, vampire slayer, and swoons as he beholds the fantasy). Onioka calmly, confidently, walks amidst the blades. She knows the timing, the exact pattern of the traps. She opens a panel at the end of the hall, deactivated the traps. She scoffs at the heroes.

At the snap of her fingers, Onioka lights the darkened cavern that we now stand in. “Oh no, some of the dark magic that I encountered years ago still lingers here!” She exclaims in a voice so cheesy that Kraft offers her a sponsorship. Five boney hands shoot up from the ground. Five boney bodies emerge from the dusty earth on the cave floor. Blast! Fireballs. Blast! Fallen stalactites. Content Not Found: Idunno uses the strongest of his (hers?) psychic power to cause consistent anguish upon all nearby enemies, dramatically affecting the flow of battle.

Onioka is pleased to see you succeed, but she is drunk. She leads you into the next chamber – a huge, golden throne room filled with massive pillars. In the middle sits an elevated alter upon which lies a small bag. Before anyone does anything, a leaping goliath tackles a robed figure deep in the shadows. The figure falls, stutters, and struggles as the actor has been thrown off script. As the two stand up and brush themselves, the man in robes states, “Fear me, for I am Xenix, the king of evil, and you will perish under my power.” Anioka interrupts, “But wait! You can only defeat Xenix with the power of your conviction!” We all say something akin to “get the fuck out” and he melts into nothingness, wailing in pain.

“You have successfully transversed to the dark tunnels of Xanix.” Anioka congratulates us for our accomplishment. “Step forward and attain your prize.” We unwrap the bag to find THREE FREE DRINK COUPONS FOR LUKE LONGCLAW’S TAVERN AND EATERY IN THE CITY OF LUM!

Looking around the room, Guutzman – much to everyone’s surprise – knocks a switch that causes a secret door to slide open behind the thrones at the back of the throne room. Anioka is stunned. Anioka is nervous. Anioka is immediately sober. She tells the group to follow behind her. Should anything go wrong, run and find help.

Massive statue on throne, at least 200-300 feet tall. In front, another pedestal with a strange device. The statue is humanoid but racially nonspecific, and the chamber goes up hundreds of feet.

Hraxos examines the Content Not Found: orb-of-xenix on the pedestal. Totally foreign, he picks it up to get a better understand. The psychic impulse that the orb emits tells him to focus on a person – any person. They learn that it can do 1 HP damage to anyone, anywhere. Surprising, underwhelming, and yet astounding, the party doesn’t notice at first that the massive statue has begun to absorb the thick arcane energies that flow throughout the room. The group begins to flee, looking behind them only to see the monolith stand and crush Anioka beneath its massive foot. The sentinel claws at the walls of the huge tower, causing massive chunks of stone to crash to the ground. As he fights through the walls, Xenix’s great fortress begins to fall – the magic Anioka used to hold it all together begins to fade. The group must rely on each to flee the crumbling castle alive.


After we flee to safety, we look back to see the great statue emerge from the fortress. It clambers towards the nearby city of Lum. It walks in a straight line, decimating the guard tower at the corner of the settlement. Rays of chaotic magic shoot off in random directions, causing havoc. An arcane bolt zaps some nearby fauna, nullifying 3 deer and causing a bear to become sentient. After an epiphany, the bear notices us and decides to eat us.

Welcome to your Adventure Log!
A blog for your campaign

Every campaign gets an Adventure Log, a blog for your adventures!

While the wiki is great for organizing your campaign world, it’s not the best way to chronicle your adventures. For that purpose, you need a blog!

The Adventure Log will allow you to chronologically order the happenings of your campaign. It serves as the record of what has passed. After each gaming session, come to the Adventure Log and write up what happened. In time, it will grow into a great story!

Best of all, each Adventure Log post is also a wiki page! You can link back and forth with your wiki, characters, and so forth as you wish.

One final tip: Before you jump in and try to write up the entire history for your campaign, take a deep breath. Rather than spending days writing and getting exhausted, I would suggest writing a quick “Story So Far” with only a summary. Then, get back to gaming! Grow your Adventure Log over time, rather than all at once.


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